Self care with Becca!

Hey, I hope you are all well? We all need to check in on our selves, make sure you look after yourself during this time! 

THE QUESTIONS ARE:

How are you doing? Are you hanging in there? Oh wow, what a past month it’s been! I honestly don’t have words for everything that’s happening right now, especially in the political sphere. If the whole world seems like it’s teetering on the edge of sanity, you’re most definitely not alone in feeling that way. 

One thing I’ve learned about self-care is that I’m always allowed to practice it inside of myself. This means that even when it’s my instinct to spin out of control along with seemingly everything else around me, I really don’t have to spiral. I can put down my phone. I can breathe. When possible, I can get a good night’s sleep. In short, I’m allowed to rest and recenter. Tomorrow, when I’ve regained my grounding--and maybe put a little bit of energy into my reserves--I can reengage and see if I might be of service to the many challenges around me in a new way. 

This realization seems particularly important right now as I get closer to my due date later this month. To put it lightly, I’m feeling a lot as I prepare to become a parent of two! As I shared in this recent post, I’m navigating big waves of fear and anxiety almost every night. I’m scared of childbirth. I’m afraid of losing my connection to Jonah. I’m anxious about the boredom of the postpartum period. I’m really nervous I will have a hard time transitioning back to work, etc, etc. If all I knew was how to listen to the fear, I think I’d be drowning in it by now.

But again, self-care is so useful to stay afloat in these moments. Self-care reminds me that I handled the many ups and downs of birthing one child and even enjoyed the process. It reminds me that even though I majorly teetered in my business upon returning to work after having Jonah, I managed to rebuild it in deeply satisfying ways. It reassures me that I have nourishing daily routines, effective communication skills, and amazing support systems to help me through the hardest parts. And most importantly, self-care reminds me to get to sleep because everything will feel a bit softer in the morning. 

Embracing self-care also helps me recognize when I’m in a transition. Transitions, although necessary for growth, are also shaky emotional spaces and places where our self-care habits can fall apart. My thoughts recently reminded me, there are four questions to ask ourselves when entering a deep transition. Consciously recognizing everything we’re holding and ready to let go of may help us stay a bit more grounded in that shakiness.

- What from the past am I feeling reluctant to let go as I look towards this new chapter? 

- What from the past am I feeling excited to let go of as I look forward to this new chapter?

- What skills/tools from the past am I feeling good about taking into/being able to use in this new chapter?

- What am I looking forward to learning in this new chapter? 

I ALSO LEARNED THAT BEING IN TRANSITION MEANS SWITCHING UP MY ROUTINES AND LEVELING UP MY SELF-CARE DURING CERTAIN PERIODS OF LIFE. ONE BIT OF THIS HAS TO DO WITH WRITING THIS NEWSLETTER. 

During my first postpartum period, I don’t think I missed more than a week or two of sending out a weekly Wednesday self-care missive. I kept writing them because, after a few years of sending them out every Wednesday, it just didn’t occur to me to stop. (Also, I love being in connection with you all and always get so much good energy from our exchange - a continual, deep thank you for that!)

Looking at it more deeply, I think that part of my resistance to breaking my newsletter pattern during my first postpartum was that saying goodbye (or saying “no” to any opportunity) always brings up grief for me. I think a lot of our FOMO comes from having to say goodbye to the path that we could have taken or the person that we might have been having we stayed on it. Since we’re just not that well-equipped to handle grief in our culture, we often stay the course of situations even when they stop working for us. This is how we get really stuck.

I’m proud to say that these past few years have helped me become a lot more comfortable with feeling grief and trusting it as growth in my life. Thus, I can more easily say “no” to something that doesn’t spark joy, and more easily let someone leave to do what they need to do, and more easily say a heartfelt goodbye without feeling like everything around me will go to pot in my absence. It’s a very cool feeling and one I’m happy to celebrate here with you. 

I wish you the self-care to do the same in every aspect of your life where you’re ready to let go and experience growth. I hope you remember that this will require you to be in transition and that focusing on your self-care during this shaky space will help you stay steady. Mostly, I offer you the power of self-trust as your primary tool for navigation. You know where you need to go. Take care of yourself and you will get there. Maybe you’ll even enjoy the journey. 

Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it's a simple concept, in theory, it's something we very often overlook. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. 

This isn't about myself, Its a topic I thought would be good to cover during this time! 

Thank you for joining me today, I hope this has helped you,

Becca x